pretty butterfly ` floating in the sky :

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

it's a new day! beautiful...got up at like 6 am for practically no reason...:P...anways, word for the day!

1 corinthians 6
What i've learned from the following verses:

v1-8: Disputes. The signal of disunity. Dispute itself is already a bad testimony and a stumbling block to both believers and non- believers alike. why argue?! Non christians do that all the time, so why are we following the ways of the world? God said in Galatians 5 that the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. When we argue and dispute among ourselves, we compromise and go against every single fruit of the spirit. Then we are totally defeated.
One day we will be judging angels. How do we earn that privilege if we can't even settle the little disputes among ourselves? if we've failed in the little, how can God entrust us with the bigger things? Remember that united, a kingdom stands, but divided, a kingdom falls. since we are of the kingdom of God, it would do us well to protect it by being united in one mind and heart. DOn't give the enemy the glory and satisfaction of succeeding to make us quarrel! it's so much better to be wronged and then do rite, rather than wrong the person who's wronged us. Follow in Christ's footsteps.
So what if u feel that u're rite and the other is wrong? there's always the option of sitting together, and with a united and loving heart, settle the disagreement with gentleness and patience, and ALWAYS in the loving attitude of Christ. no point arguing and causing the root of bitterness to grow. If christ has truly set us free, then we should live like we are free...

V12: "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. everything is permissible for me, but i WILL NOT be mastered by anything."
yes, we can commit every sin under heaven. it's in our power to do so. But what gain is there? the wages of sin is death. we lose out on respect, honour and an abundant life. Yes, we can CHOOSE to be addicted(surprised?) but why LET addiction be master of your life when u have a choice of whether to let it or not? All it does is tear you down, clamp on you and prevent you from becoming whom Christ ordained u to be. if we are to be addicted at all, let's be addicted to spending time with Jesus.

V15: Prostitution. i don't think this simply refers to prostitution to many men, because i know Paul refers to everyone in this manner. many times in the Old Testament God spoke of "Israel prostituting herself to idols". I believe that prostitution here can come in the form of prostitution to laziness, greed, gluttony, lust, work?!(being so caught up in work that God is shoved out of the picture), self- abuse, and perhaps suicide. Perhaps alot of us(me included) sometimes place these things above the love of God. that's why it's so important to come before Him daily and CHECK to see if we have done any of these things, so that He can become the center of our focus once again.

V17: but we should rather unite ourselves with Christ, for Whom we were created.
The Holy Spirit lives in us. WHat is the condition of our hearts and our bodies? Is the Holy Spirit pleased with the home we have given to Him, or sickened by its present condition? Can we totally surrender this home which is our body to Christ, and let Him be Lord over it? can we give every part of this home to Christ, so that He can do the refurnishing?
Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Dress decently; look good for Him. I'm not saying we should dress indecently, or even sloppily, but neatly and tidily, for that is ALSO a reflection of Who Christ is.
Last but not least, let go of what is not of Christ, so that He can bring in what is truly of Him and make this temple beautiful.

[11:09 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

QT for the day! :) did something on 1 corinthians 5 today...a very good reminder that our actions should speak louder than our words...

what i've learnt from the following verses:
v6: Always always check what comes out of your mouth. what is said can spread like wildfire. DO NOT especially take pride in wickedness or mischief, much less boast about it.very often we feel good about getting away with doing something wrong, but pride comes before a fall,and sooner or later we reap the consequences of our wilful sin.

V11:" But i am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolator or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. with such a man do not even eat."
Remember that we bear the name of Christ. Paul is not saying that we should keep away from every single person who does these things, because, as he mentions in the next verse, we would then have to leave this earth. Rather, the key here is that we should watch out for those who call themselves Christians and yet do these things. what kind of testimony is that? what good is there to associate yourself with people who carry His name around yet constantly stain it by the way they live? Bad company corrupts good behaviour, therefore WATCH who you mix with. DOn't allow the evil one to use the title "brothers in Christ" to pull our guard down and then cause our Christian values to deteriorate because we were not watchful. DOn't allow those who are merely titled as Christians but do not reflect Christ's character to become stumbling blocks to our faith.

V12: before we look at the world and start pointing fingers at it, make sure that there are none among us who are doing the same thing. Kill the bad that is within before trying to impact those outside with the name of Christ. we are to be BLAMELESS and PERFECT, just as our heavenly FAther is PERFECT. what does it mean to be perfect? God has said that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but i believe that "perfection" refers to "blamelessness" in the sight of those who don't know christ, and ALSO in the sight of those who do know Him. Let's not place ourselves in positions that are vulnerable to the attack of the evil one. let's live lives that are godly, so that God can use us as stepping stones, and that Satan will have no opportunity to turn us into stumbling blocks to CHristians and non Christians alike.

Dear Lord Jesus, may it be that You hold my life constantly in check, that if i ever become a stumbling block to Christians and non Christians alike, You would prompt me to turn away from any wicked way in me. "Search my heart, O God; may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer".

[6:09 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

Thursday, November 24, 2005

my room's all empty now, with pieces of paper lying around...just finished packing up to go home. and as i looked around it, at the empty shelves and the bare walls, a thought came into my mind: this was how my heart looked like before Jesus came in, and this is how my heart would look like if i ever walked away from His love...
because when He came in, He brought in every bright and beautiful thing...all the decorations, the wisdom, the knowledge...the joy and peace...every colour that represented something sweet and lovely. He put up pictures of love and comfort, He placed books on the shelves...i think there were 66 in all, and all of them were books of true wisdom and whatever i read was just for me to understand. i would let others into my room to show them what the books had told me and what i had learned from them that day, and the people who had Jesus would do the same for me. Jesus hung up pretty curtains at the windows so that my eyes could always be attracted to them, so that i could open them and see the opportunities God had placed before me. and Jesus opened the windows to let them in. like the fresh breeze, they were always fresh experiences.whether i chose to thank Him for them or turn away was all for me to decide.
Sometimes i felt lonely, but you see, He put up words of comfort along the walls, and decorated those walls with memories of His faithfulness and companionship. whenever i felt afraid, i could always look at those pictures and be reminded of His constant Presence.
He decorated my bed with pillows and a soft, warm blanket- security and peace in dark times. He placed pretty things on my table to remind me that every service i do can be done with joy. He filled my drawers with gifts and cards and important documents to give life its worth. He hung up a calender on my wall to teach me to number my days, that i might gain a heart of wisdom. He filled up my wardrobe with beautiful clothing to let me know that He cares for my every need and that He sees me clothed with the righteousness of Christ.
He placed a warm lamp on my bedside table and told me, "switch this on and invite others to come and see what I've done to make your room beautiful". He also wrapped a garland of flowers around that lamp, to show me how beautiful my praise and worship is to Him, and what kind of testimony it bears to others when i worship in spirit and in truth.
i want my heart to be like a room filled with Jesus' things. I asked Him to come in and He did, but i had to ask Him to stay and bring all His things in along with Him before He could fill my heart and life with precious things.

[10:20 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

i'm not gonna say anything smart or anything intellectual...i'm just gonna say that i'm overwhelmed...
spent time worshipping today in joanne's room when she was at college...(her room's big and nice and un-claustrophobic)...suddenly started worshipping in the midst of studying linguistics! hahha how bizarre...
but that's the beauty of it all, just knowing that you can express your love to God at any time of the day, and that His presence can touch you anywhere, in any state, at any moment, if you just reach out to touch Him.
when He loves, He loves abundantly, without holding back a drop of His compassion.
He poured out. Poured out until i couldn't contain His love. truly my cup runs over...
God You simply amaze me. You work in the most unexpected circumstances, and yet all the circumstances that You work through are the simplest, most ordinary circumstances in life.
I love the fact that You always choose the ordinary to make it extraordinary...I'm glad that You love the simple things and that You are always near to those who are contrite in spirit. I love the fact that You know me inside out and yet still love me for who You made me to be. I love You Jesus. You make my day...every day...haha...I just love being as vulnerable as a little child before You, because You are never too big for the little things...in fact it is in the little things that You show Yourself to be most real... Lord show me each day how to be excellent in the little things, and how to value the simple things in life...how to do as David did...Willing myself to be still before You and to enjoy the simple, overwhelming touch of Your love that You reserve for me every single day...

[3:07 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

Monday, November 14, 2005

hmm...let's see...God was reminding me again during quiet time today that there is such great power in agreement. this is a gist of what i've learned from the following verses:

V10: i used to think that it's ok to THINK differently about certain things, as long as we don't argue bitterly about those things. but i think i was wrong. in 1 cor 1:10, paul said let there be no division whatsoever, even in mind and thought, because it is in the mind that bitter thoughts originate, and these take root in the heart. God has called us to be perfectly united in mind and heart, because there is power in agreement.

V13: it isn't man we serve, but Christ. so there shouldn't be conflict between different church denominations because we all serve the same God, Who is consistent and uncompromising in all His ways and judgments. how does a divided kingdom stand? Cling steadfastly only to the teachings of the word of God because it never contradicts itself.

It is God who gives strength and wisdom to whomever He wishes. it is God who endows His children with gifts and talents. All the more we should be in one heart and mind so that our strengths can be used to glorify and lift up the name of the Lord, and so that His strength can be made perfect in our weaknesses.

"bear one another's burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ."
"for the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peace- loving..."

[8:23 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

i was reading psalms today...

Psalm 142:2-3- i pour out my complaint before Him; before Him i tell my trouble...when my spirit grows faint within me, it is You Who know my way...

Psalm 143:8- let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for i have put my trust in You...

Psalm 143:10- teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground...

Psalm 144:2-4- He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom i take refuge, who subdues the peoples under me...O Lord, what is man that You care for him, the son of man that You think of him? Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow...

how wonderful it is to know that the God of the Universe holds me in the palm of His hand and cares for me as though i was the only one on earth...David recognized the deep relationship God wanted with him, and that included laying aside all forms of religious practice and piety, and surrendering every part of himself to God in spirit and truth. How good it is to be allowed that kind of honesty and transparency before the King of kings and Lord of lords. Truly, what is man that God should be mindful of him? we are like a breath of vapour, yet He takes time to hear our cry and to make sure we have everything we need. Dear Lord Jesus, in our weakness, You are our Strength, in our tiredness, You are our support. in times of trouble, You are the stronghold we run to, and there we find all the shelter and comfort we need, because Your love covers us. thank You for all the wonderful blessings You've poured out upon us in such abundance, but more than that, thank You, thank You for that beautiful relationship between You and us that You paid such a big price for.I love You Jesus...

"He who did not spare His son, but gave Him up for us, how shall He not also freely give us all things?"

[1:31 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

Monday, November 07, 2005

PHEWPH! i just handed in two of my major assignments...YESSS!!! two down, one assignment and 2 exams to go... quite worried actually for my two assignments, because they're worth a major part of my assessment, and both are very competitive subjects cuz they deal with a person's creativity...and it all depends on the tutor's taste as well...oh dear...but i've lifted these assignments into God's hands, so to Him be all glory for whatever mark i get...i've given my best so i'll leave the rest to Him...
the weather's trying to play tricks on us again...was walking home with ben from uni just now...my goodness... it rained for like...ten seconds then it stopped for twenty seconds, then it rained again...oh my...by the time we got home we were so irritated!
aaaahhh but now i'm just going to sleep...i'm so tired...i think i'll only start my work tonight cuz i really can't keep my eyes open anymore...i'm just really glad my two assignments are done.
can't wait to be home in Kota Kinabalu...

[2:32 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

Sunday, November 06, 2005

oh! oh! oh! i forgot to mention! i saw the ceeeeeeutest baby ever on the way back from church today! oh my goodness! he was ADORABLE! reminded me of my little sis when she was just a small baby! haha...aww...i miss her when she was young...but of course, she's still as cute and pretty as ever now...aww i wanna go home now and just squeeze her!
(and esther don't be jealousla...i know u are...ahaha! u pretty also la!:P taaa...

[8:10 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

heehee...i just got back from church...and once again, it was another awesome experience with God...
haha...ben and i went for prayer meeting, but we forgot it was at arrow...went all the way to RMIT! aaahhh...and it was SO HOT...my goodness...my skin was fried by the time we got to arrow! but it was worth it! prayer meeting was powerful.
Ps Rob spoke today, and he spoke on Bread. a very interesting and inspiring message, because it reminded me of the fact that we need to constantly have our minds renewed by Christ, because so often alot of things come into our lives that have the potential to turn us sour...it's only by the sweet, fresh Bread of Heaven that we can be sustained and nourished each and every day. :)...what a wonderful analogy...we need bread to live. it is a necessity. and Jesus is our Bread of Life. what an awesome thing it is to know that God is an infinite God, and therefore there is no end to the love and sweet presence of God if we just ask of Him.

Matthew 7:7-11

[7:47 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

i consider every moment God-given...
every laugh that comes from my lips
every smile, every cheer

every frown and tear that slides down my cheek
is appreciated
because i consider every circumstance
a gift from heaven.
so what if it was sad or bitter?
i can still learn from it.

God gave us a choice, didn't He?
and i choose to celebrate that gift
in the hard times, when i am forced to choose
between letting my emotions take control
or letting His love reign over my circumstances

And every hardship will from now on
remind me of His love
because He went through every hardship i now face
and more
just to show that He understands and walks with me.

Jesus, in every circumstance,
I want You to know that i choose to be reminded
Of Your love
and that i will be thankful
and that I will always love You...

[4:33 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

two of my friends are fighting again. and they're doing it right in front of me! i feel so irritated. why must it always happen like that? goodness me...as though a spirit of bitterness is going to help anyone at all...as though the spirit of self-pity will make a situation better...it's such a tiny issue and it blows up to such an enourmous thing...i just don't understand why there must be so much worry and such an angry reaction to a small thing. everyone has to learn self- control, and that applies to the nitty- gritty issues in life as well. we were just talking about it, and there my friend goes, bursting out in anger over a tiny thing.
i guess when one does not forgive, it really makes things hard in future. whatever in the past that has not been forgiven can come up again in the present with greater force, because bitterness has been accumulated over the many years one spends thinking and reliving that moment when one got hurt. why can't people just let go sometimes? it's not like i haven't had similar experiences...and i've managed to let it go, although that incident caused me so much pain. why can't she?
perhaps it's different for everyone...but if only she'd let go and let the sweet spirit of God come and fill her heart. it's not easy i guess...but oh..the healing is complete when it is allowed to take place.
i look back at all the people who've hurt me before and i don't feel a pinch of pain whatsoever anymore. in fact, i love being with them and i love the fact that God showed His power to heal broken friendships and close relationships with loved ones and family.
God, if You could forgive someone like me when i knowingly sinned against You, what right have i not to forgive those who didn't even mean to hurt me?
my dear friend, if u know i'm talking about you, and if u're reading this, don't get angry with me ok? i'm sharing my heart here.Don't let it be a stumbling block to all God has called u to, cuz it's not the big rocks that cause us to stumble, cuz we can see and avoid them, but it's the little pebbles that trip us up, when we don't notice them. when circumstances in life like these come up, don't let that bitterness edge in and get in the way of tight friendship and that feeling of unity.
just let it go...

[4:12 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

Saturday, November 05, 2005

sigh...i'm so distracted...can't concentrate on my studies at all...i think i've had an overdose of study...i was up all of last night editing my professional writing material..and studying linguistics...oooph...i need a break...
really really really really can't wait for the hols to begin...i have two job offers back in sabah as of now already(thanks to mum)...dunno which one i'll be taking...but it's definitely gonna be more interesting and exciting than this...i miss my little sisters...miss my parents...miss the beach...
arrgh...God help me!

[3:18 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

Dear Lord Jesus,
I don't know why i am doing this, but i feel that i need to commit all my friends into Your hands... Bless them in their studies, comfort them in times of discouragement, lift up their eyes to You when they grow weary of studying...
fill them with the strength and joy of Your Holy Spirit when they become too reliant on useless coffee and V Drink...
Watch over them at night as they sleep (or not), surround them with Your guardian angels and with Your sweet presence...that no bad dream or negative thought will be allowed to dwell in their minds and hearts. Whatsoever is good, whatsoever is lovely, whatsoever in noble, whatsoever is just, whatsoever is worthy of praise...God let them think of these things...
And may the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, that no fiery dart of the enemy can cause Your little ones to stumble and fall...Dear God i pray that every negative word spoken over their studies up to this point in time will be broken and made void, but let every word that comes from Your mouth be fruitful. You have said that no one who looks to You will ever be ashamed, and i pray that each of my friends will know that to be true of themselves. Let them cast all their cares at Your feet, because You care for them.
Dear Lord, watch over them and keep them, guard their hearts and minds, and may they constantly look to You as their Source of strength and comfort.
In Jesus' Precious Name i pray, Amen.

[4:35 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

oh dearie me...time flies waaay too fast...it's 4 am! hardly got any work done. but that's ok. today was trinity's prom nite...helped joanne on with her make up... it was hilarious! what a breakthru...You never find joanne with make up on..she's just her, the typical sensible, "there are more important things in life" kind of girl. I love you Joanne! but anyway, she looks GORGEOUS with make up on. and so does Trish! and ben looked extraordinarily handsome today in a coat! :P (ben u owe me a nice testimonial now).
so yea, they went for their prom...and sarah went for her friend's birthday party...it was funny not having them around. i had to eat dinner all by myself today. (with the exception of Josh la, he was there with me.)
We decided to have some weird dress- up party the moment they came back from prom. It's fun to be extremely childish at times, lol! so we all got dressed and took random photos...(oh goodness i must have been so tired to have allowed myself to do such a thing, but anyway...)sigh...then we dispersed and went back to WORK.
ARRRGH!i can't wait for exams to be over! I love melbourne so much, and i want to explore it and wander in the city and lose myself there...but i can't until my exams are over...sigh...
studied some Conversational Analysis and Historical Linguistics thing today...*bonk*...
oh well...look on the bright side...what's freedom without restraint?
God give me grace and the strength to love exams and the challenges and contraints they pose upon me...Amen...zzzz

[4:14 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

Friday, November 04, 2005

Oh my...it's so late already...we went for Hungry Jacks breakfast this morning...yeah...at 6am...haha it was fun...the whole place was empty and peaceful...just joshua, sarah and i talking rubbish all the time...actually i was falling asleep while eating my muffin la...so i wasn't talking any sense hahaha...but yea...it was fun(freezing!!) taking a walk out of Albert House so early in the morning.
Anyway, before i get back to my linguistics, this is my quiet time for the day:

Psalm 4:6-8

Many are asking,"who can show us any good?"
Let the Light of Your face shine upon us, O Lord.
You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
I will lie down and sleep in peace,
For You alone, O Lord,
make me dwell in safety.

How lovely. Yes Lord, i pray that Your light will continually shine upon us as we seek Your face, so that others who don't know You may see You reflected in us. Truly, let Your joy be our strength and let Your joy and Your tender peace in us be an attraction to people who don't know You. Indeed, "those who look to You are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5
I love my Jesus!...my Jesus, is living in me, Redeemer, Jesus He set me free...lalala...lalalalala...*dances around*

Oh kaaaaaayyyyy...time to get back to work...i need my coffee...

[2:59 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

My Love
The One Who sees me through
Each passing day
Whose thoughts are with me
Each passing moment
He lifts up my head
And His love is radiant
My eyes see the King
With the nail- scarred hands
And the crown of thorns
He gave His life for me
So that He could take me
Into His embrace
My Love
The One Who listens
To my every prayer and cry
I behold my Saviour
With adoration
Because of what He has Done
For me
Draw me with Your lovingkindness
Satisfy my thirst
For You alone are the One
I seek and long for
Jesus I long for Your presence
Come fill the place where I stand
As I make my heart still before You

[4:44 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

i'm in love! i'm feeling so high at the moment lol...
i just read a love letter today...
...the words were just BEAUTIFUL...straight from heaven itself...

Psalm 139...one of my favourite letters from God...
i've read that over and over and over again and every single time i read it, it grows all the more beautiful. every single time i read it, i'm reassured of His love for me, His many thoughts towards me are more than the grains of sand and stars in the sky...wow. And He FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made me...dear Lord, how much love You've poured into my life...right from the moment You thought about me, to the moment You knit me together in my mother's womb, to the time i was born...and as i grew You never ceased knitting a beautiful life out of one that was so bare...You placed dreams and promises into that knitting- carried out things in my life beyond my wildest dreams. sometimes all i saw was the mess on one side of the cloth, but You saw a perfect picture on the other. All my ways and thoughts are before You, and though You see and understand all of them, You still love me for me.
I love every wonderful surprise You've given me. I love every single revelation of Your word. Continue to lead me and guide me in the Way Everlasting. Don't ever let my zeal for You die...I love YOU! In Jesus' beautiful Name i pray, Amen.

[4:01 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

oh my goodness...joshua's MAD. and sarah's MAD TOO! (sarah told me to write that about her)...:P
i can't believe the way those two study...don't need to zzz wan. staying up until so late...josh is planning to study til 6 am! then we're all gonna go for hungry jack's breakfast. wah...no need to sleep also...*bonk*...cannot la...sleep's such a luxury!!
arrrgh! i'm sick of linguistics! sick of it! but perhaps i should look at it in a more positive light...it definitely is interesting. just spent my whole afternoon editing and re-editing my cross cultural communications essay...not easy at all...hard to aim for a H1 when everyone else is so competitive...oh well. i guess i'll just give it my best shot and leave the rest in His hands.
it's such a comfort to know that there's Someone Who's more keen on me getting good grades than i am! and that's saying alot...i'm quite a competitive person when it comes to studies... but i guess i've learned the art of laying all my worries at His feet. not an easy thing to do, because it takes so much faith at times to let my worries go...:) but every time i do so, He has always proven Faithful.
At the moment, I'm feeling soooo sleepy and i'm having a tad bit of headache...ah God, You know it all already...
i guess i shall just go and get some rest now...goodnight...
oh, and josh says hi and welcomes everyone in msia and singapore to his beloved Klang for Bak Kut Teh when he gets back to msia...he's so proud of it... i've never seen anyone promoting Bak Kut Teh like that before.
Do go, so that if its standard is not up to what he advertised, u can go kacau him...harharhar...zzzzzz....

[1:09 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

Thursday, November 03, 2005

i wrote this a few days ago in my private journal, but i reckon it will be worthy of sharing...threw a whole new light onto the Cross...

Nov 1:
...Maybe it's just Jesus making me high again. He does that a lot to me. haha...that's just my Jesus.
You know during church three days ago, I got a vision...I saw Him on the cross, bloodied and unrecognizable...and He was so bruised and torn. And it was all for me. I saw the crown of thorns on His head, and His body was covered with His own blood. When I saw that I was overwhelmed again by what He did for me on that cross.
But I saw another vision. I heard Him say, "That was what you saw in the physical. Now see Me in the spiritual." And I saw Him, brighter than the sun, yet glowing with a soft, gentle radiance. He had a crown of pure gold on his head, and a white, flowing garment on His body. A loving smile on His face. His arms were outstretched, just like they were on the physical cross, nailed there and bleeding.
But the difference here was this-- in the spiritual, His arms were outstretched to embrace. To embrace what He came to save. He was beckoning me into His arms. This was what His death was for...it was so that He could embrace someone like me. When I saw that, I began to weep. Truly this is the Son of God. I wonder whether the centurion saw that image. It was so real. It must be real.
Jesus, every time I think of You I get overwhelmed. My heart just fills with love for You. I don't know how to express myself, but all i can say is this: You're the One Who always sweeps me off my feet. I love You. I love You.

[1:13 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

*yaaaawnn*...oh good morning..i mean afternoon...oh dear...i overslept big time...actually i didn't. my biological clock's just all messed up now...that's what happens to you when there's daylight saving and you forget when to stop studying. slept at 5 am...woke up to that irritating fire alarm system gone wrong. it keeps beeping for no reason because the battery's low. i have to tell uncle andrew.
ouch ouch ouch...my whole body's aching. must have slept somewhat wrong. (arrgh! that thing beeped again!)
ohhhh dear...*bonk*
i think i need to do my quiet time now...i'm not feeling too good...i'm gonna read psalms, then i'm gonna read romans. oh wait...i've finished romans AnD first chorinthians already...i need to do SEconD chorinthians...
oh dear i'm rambling on again...my apologies...i just woke up...*yawn*...oh well...it's really effective verbally telling ppl what i must do, because it's a form of accountability on my part. i'm a very aural person...if i hear something, i'm more likely to remember it than reading it on paper. so if i must do something, i'm more likely to do it by telling someone i will, rather than writing it down on a piece of paper somewhere and sticking up on my wall for only me to see. :)
sarah and trish just can't understand me cuz they do better reading stuff on paper... oh well...
ok i'm off for a snooze again and some quiet time before i dig into linguistics and cultural studies...sigh...can't wait for it to end...
it's not that i don't enjoy my current life or what i'm studying...it's just that too much of one thing can make a person go bonkers...hehe...
oh i just realized...i forgot about breakfast and lunch...oh bother...

[12:48 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

In the stillness I find You
Waiting there for me to talk to You
And I wonder how this love could be

I know You are there each morning
Without fail You wait to talk to me
Such faithfulness, how can this be?

I come for my daily Bread
Teach me the way to tread
Bring me down on my knees

Let me love You for Who You are

Fix my gaze upon You Jesus
Nothing in this world is greater
All I go through I know You understand

Teach me to be still and know You
Let my heart be filled with awe of You
No other wish but to love You

felicia- 2004

I long to give You more
But all I can give is me
will You take this life of mine
and use it for Your glory?

I want to see this nation
Worship You
I want to see the lost have hope
I know my life can make a difference
Set in me Your heart's desire

Lord, I can't give You much
But I'll give You all of me
Will You take this heart of mine
and fill it with Your mercy?

Set in me Your heart's desire

Felicia- 2001

Lord, You know
What's inside my heart
So I'll give it all to You
You carry me
In my weakest times
In Your arms of love I hide

And I will gaze at You
At all times
You are my Lamp and my Light
I will follow after You
At all times
Lord, You are my Shield and Guide

You're my strength in time of need
And though all may fall
You stand eternal
And there is none like You
My closest Friend
At all times

Felicia- 2002

[4:31 AM]
butterfly dreams ;

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

i need a break from linguistics...big time...i'm seeing letters and words all over the place now...

it just amazes me. i've often wondered why doctors and scientists and chemists have to dig so deep as to discover the most minute possible fragment of a particular object or being, when they could have just let that knowledge go by and enjoy life...
but oh my goodness...language itself...haha...i just can't believe the awesomeness of God. He is awesome in the little things we see, isn't He? sigh...i wish i could just throw all my notes out the window now...i've read more than enough to let my mouth hang open because God created such a complex system by which we communicate, only thing is that most of us don't realize just how deep language processes go.
i always thought words and letters were the smallest you could go to make meaning... apparently not. you have morphemes and allomorphs and phonemes and allophones! and after that you have prosodic features and suprasegmentals and semiotics! not to mention the syntactic rules all speakers adopt in some mysterious way without having to learn them.

oh goodness... *faints*...i'm so tired. Linguistics just goes round and round in circles...
aiiiyah! whateverla... conclusion of the matter is this la: if language itself is so complicated there has to be a God... i wonder why ppl keep on asking when the answers are staring them in the face...sigh... no offence to all the philosophers of the world...(i've done philosophy before and it upsets me)... the answer to every philosophy in the world is simply God...
now if only people could consider that answer...then they wouldn't have to keep going round and round in circles trying to find the answers... cuz every other answer they come up with has loopholes...i think they'd save alot of their time by putting God in the picture. sometimes i wonder why it's so hard. i mean i know why it's so hard to them, but it's frustrating when it's so easy for me and it's annoying when you know it's never gonna end anywhere else but people still refuse to acknowledge that fact.
i recalled a situation where i was talking to my philosophy lecturer about something, and he himself had to come to the conclusion that such a thing could only be explained by having God in the picture. He's an atheist by the way. An old old one. and still searching for 'substitute' answers even after admitting that he could find no other logical explanation than God.
sorry i know this is so random, but i do get funny flows of thought like this and i pen them down all over the place...might as well do it here too...haha...
you know, the annoying thing about penning down thoughts is that you can't pen them down exactly the way you think them. this whole blog turned out funny. oh well. i always find that a problem. sigh. see? there goes again. the complexity of thought language, written language and the spoken word. how could it all have happened without a God?

[10:33 PM]
butterfly dreams ;

ahhh... finally i'm using this thing again! haha...i've been seeing all my friends doing it...the wonders of peer pressure! my sis set this thing up for me ages and ages ago (probably before i stepped foot on Aussie soil) but i just never got down to using it except for that one time she forced me to...
hmm...so what's been happening? not much i guess...
oh, but Mamak Night was absolutely huge! God did a wonderful wonderful work that night...:) i'm so happy my friends came and i was awed to see the kind of unity and teamwork that showed through on that night among those helping out in the event. All my friends told me they enjoyed themselves heaps... haha...all my friends in Malaysia were jealous. :P at least i think (hope) so.
anyway...today? nothing much went on...i'm so sick of studying! been stuck at linguistics and cultural studies for hours and hours on end...doing pragmalinguistics and sociopragmatics and phonetics and phonology and morphology and syntax...my brain's just reeling at the moment. took a break and worked out the stress at the gym...
took an absolutely glorious but totally useless shower, because by the time i got back i had to bathe again. the weather today is just...ahem... i just hate hot days, what can i say?!
hmmm...wonder how i'm gonna survive back in malaysia? three more weeks and first year's over! time flies just too fast sometimes... :)

[7:51 PM]
butterfly dreams ;